The weeks before I started my study abroad in Japan, I had a problem.
I didn't want to go.
The application process had left me drained and frustrated, and things weren't completely figured out until a week before I was supposed to arrive there. Also, I felt like I had just built up a life for myself where I lived, just gotten out of my shell, I guess.
When I first told my mom about wanting to go to Japan, she said "It's okay. I'm just afraid you're gonna change your mind again."
She had a point. I have been and still am very fickle. It's one of the reasons I don't like to buy expensive clothes, I'll get bored with them in a few months. Before Japan, there was Finland, before Finland...who knows what. Probably Scotland at some point. And Korea.
Korea actually was my other option for a study abroad. But my counselor recommended Japan, so I said I'd apply there. Before applying, I had never been to Japan in my entire life. I first went there with my sister, 3 months before getting my letter of admission.
I enjoyed Japan. But after three week, I was kind of glad to go back, back to my friends, back to my family, back...home.
But this time, I wasn't going to go home after less than a month. It wasn't going to be temporary, it wasn't going to be just for fun, and it wasn't going to be easy.
Also, there was no one I knew. Not a single person.
On March 22nd, I said goodbye to my mom. My dad, my sister, and my best friend were going to drop me off at the airport. So a few hours later, I also said goodbye to them. I hugged them, over and over again.
Then I went through security, turned around, and waved.
I didn't even cry.
I don't know why, maybe I was too nervous or busy, but I didn't feel like crying once. I got on the plane and that was it.
13 months later, when I got back from Japan, I knew that we weren't done. That there are still so many more things for me to do and experience over there. That Japan is the country I want to live in, really, really live in, without time limits or expiration dates.
For now, Japan is home.
